Hebrews 4:14-16 BSB
“14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Recap: In Hebrews 3-4 we are warned against falling back
into sin and into disobedience to our Lord, thus falling away from our
fellowship with Jesus Christ. And we are warned against hardening our hearts
and rebelling against the commands of our Savior, and then remaining there for
a long time. And we are encouraged to listen to the voice of the Lord, to put
sin to death in our lives, and to walk (in conduct, in practice) in obedience
to our Lord and to his commands if we want salvation and eternal life with God.
My Testimony
I believed in Jesus at age 7 and I followed the Lord with my
life. I was involved in Christian ministry most of my life, walking with the
Lord, obeying his commands, and following his leading, although I was not
perfect. But then I had a difficult pregnancy with my last child which resulted
in me needing to have a hysterectomy mid-1981. And then my hormones went crazy
after that. And I began to experience early menopause symptoms. So I was at a
stage in my life where I was very emotionally vulnerable.
At the same time, I was going through a healing process with
regard to the sexual and physical and emotional abuse I had suffered at the
hands of my father. So I cried a lot!! All those memories, most of which I had
forgotten, were beginning to surface, and I was giving them over to the Lord,
praying them through one by one. And I had few people supporting me through this
process, and some who were against me. And I was caring for my four small
children at the same time. But I was relying on the Lord to get me through.
Seven Years Passed
Seven years passed and we were now living in another town in
a different state where the people were not friendly to outsiders. If you were
not “one of them” you were not wanted. And many of us “outsiders” received the
same treatment. And the menopausal symptoms were increasing, but I was
considered too young to be going through that, so I was written off by most
doctors. So, I was lonely and afflicted, in need of good friends and Christian
fellowship, and my husband was travelling a lot with his job. I was hurting!
Now, as both my husband and I have shared before, without me
knowing it, I had married a man who was addicted to sexual sin, which is where
he remained, but where he says he is now gaining victory. I pray that he is!
And rather than my husband supporting me in this time, and helping me through
it, he took advantage of my weakness, instead, and he pushed me into joining in
with him in his sin. I still had a choice. I could have said no. So I am at
fault for allowing that to happen and for me to sin with my husband.
Another Seven Years Passed
My sins against the Lord continued on and off for a period
of about seven years with breaks in between where I would get back on track in
following the Lord and then something would happen that would lead me back into
sin, usually having to do with my husband. And my husband and I have both confessed
this publicly, and he is presently writing his story on an internet site called
“Substack,” so what I am sharing is no secret. This has been out in the open
for the past 8 years. But this was a real severe battle for me.
The last year of returning to this sin had a break of seven
years prior to that. So it was like six years on, seven years off, and then one
more year added on to a total of seven years battling with this sin. And that
year was in 2000, the year both of my parents died, which was an emotionally
difficult year for me. And then I got very serious about confronting this sin
and conquering it in the power of God. And he showed me I was not forgiving
Jesus for not rescuing me from my father, and so I forgave him, and he delivered
me.
And Then..
The year was 2004. My husband and I were training to be
church planters. I was going for my consecration and he was going for his
ordination on the promise that he was no longer living in sexual sin, which
turned out not to be true. But the Lord had a different plan for me. He had a
calling for my life which was his calling even before I was formed in the womb
of my mother, even with him knowing all the battles I would face throughout my
life, even with him knowing that I would struggle with sexual sin for a period
of seven years. But his plan was to use me to be his voice to the people of the
world.
Could he have struck me dead and sent me to hell when I
turned my back on him to follow my husband in sexual sin? Yes! He could have!
But he had a plan and a purpose for my life. Because of his grace and mercy I
am where I am today, doing what I am doing, writing down what the Lord is
teaching me from my times spent with him daily in his word, and then placing
these writings on the internet for a herald to “Run With It,” the name of my
blog. And I closed that door shut on my past life, never to be reopened. Amen!
A Believer’s Prayer
An Original Work / July 31, 2012
Christ’s Free Servant, Sue J Love
With my whole heart,
Lord, I pray
To be Yours, and
Yours always.
Lead me in Your
truth today.
May I love You, and
obey.
Lead me in Your
righteousness.
When I sin, may I
confess;
Bow before You when
I pray;
Live for You and You
always.
Love You, Jesus,
You’re my friend.
Life with You will
never end.
You are with me
through each day,
Giving love and
peace always.
You will ne’er
abandon me.
From my sin You set
me free.
You died on that
cruel tree,
So I’d live
eternally.
Soon You’re coming
back for me;
From this world to
set me free;
Live with You
eternally.
Oh, what joy that
brings to me.
I will walk with You
in white;
A pure bride, I’ve
been made right
By the blood of
Jesus Christ;
Pardoned by His
sacrifice.
My Testimony
An Original Work / July 6, 2026
Christ’s Free
Servant, Sue J Love
P.S. I have my husband’s approval to share this with you
today.
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