Dealing with Adultery

Matthew 5:27-30 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

A lot of people, even many professing Christians, have this idea that adultery is just a physical act of sex between two people not married to each other, at least one of them married to someone else. But Jesus said that to look at another person with lustful intent is committing adultery in one’s own heart with that other person. But hardly anyone I have spoken with takes that seriously. Why is that? Why has adultery become so commonplace among those professing faith in Christ that hardly anyone blinks an eye at it?

Statistics I have read have it as high as 75% of Christian men regularly are viewing inappropriate sexually charged material, and perhaps as much as 35% of pastors are engaged in this practice, as well, with women and children joining in, too. According to Jesus, this is adultery. So, why is there not a major uproar in the church about this? Why is this just being ignored or barely mentioned or only dealt with minimally and usually just by giving these people support rather than church discipline?

And because this is so common, and it is being minimalized or totally ignored or even given blessings to continue in it, more and more people are living in sexual immorality and in adultery against God and against their spouses. And who is there for the spouses? From what I understand, not many people are, and they don’t want it mentioned, and they want it shoved under the rug, and so those who are married to adulterers are being forced to suffer in silence or face the open rebuke of others for bringing it up.

But we can’t just ignore this because it is an unpleasant subject and it makes us uncomfortable to talk about it. This is a very serious issue in today’s Christian culture here in America which is destroying the lives of those engaging in this practice, and which is tearing apart their marriages and their families. And so many marriages are in disarray, and many are ending in divorce because of marital unfaithfulness. And it seems as though hardly anyone wants to lift a finger to deal with this biblically.

And when God’s people in the past have gotten caught up in sexual immorality and would not repent, in truth, that was their downfall, and it usually ended up with the judgment of God on them, such as what happened to some of the children of Israel when they were wandering in the wilderness. So why does the church seem to not take this seriously today, especially since we are warned about this in 1 Corinthians 5 and 10 and in Hebrews 3 and 4 that if we follow suit we will receive the same results?

Church, we need to stand up and condemn sexual immorality in the lives of those who profess the name of Jesus. We need to call for them to repent or to face church discipline, like what is talked about in 1 Corinthians 5. If we don’t stand on the righteousness of God, and we permit sexual immorality and adultery to eat away at the lives and marriages and families within our congregations, then what future do we have as being the light and salt of the earth? Then we, as the church, have lost our saltiness.

And we need to call to those who are living in adultery against God and against their spouses to not just repent but to get drastic about getting this out of their lives permanently and to not keep hanging on to it. We need to be teaching radical but biblical means for putting sin to death in our lives so that we can walk in holiness and in righteousness and in obedience to our Lord, so that we love God and our spouses and others as we ought. For this is the will of God for our lives that we not walk in sin.

So, what counsel does this give us? It seems pretty drastic, doesn’t it? But honestly, if that is what it takes to stop you, whoever you might be, from continuing in sin, in adultery, then, as this says, it is better to lose an arm or a leg than it is to lose your life for eternity because you refused to obey God and because you refused to love him and your fellow humans, but you decided to go your own way, instead. I tend to take this more figuratively than literally, though, but whatever works, then do it.

But to me the principle is this. If you cannot get victory over your sin, then cut out of your life whatever is causing you to sin, and this doesn’t have to be anything physical, but it could be. For many this would mean giving up their smartphones, which are the downfall of many, or their computers. And many people are not willing to let go of those. But really this is a heart issue, and so people have to be willing to examine their own hearts and ask themselves why they do what they do.

And once you find the evil that is lurking in your heart, then that has to be cut out of your heart, not physically, but spiritually. And this may involve confession of hidden sins and restitution and apologies and true repentance and forgiving others and letting go of resentment and bitterness, etc. But you may have to give up your internet devices, too. But to me, if the heart is in the right place, victory is possible. If the heart is not, victory is not unless the heart changes. So if this describes you, please let God change you.

Cooperate with him and his work of grace in your life. Die with him to sin daily, and deny self, and follow him in obedience. For God’s grace, which is bringing us salvation, trains us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives while wait for our Lord’s soon return. And if we continue in sin, and we do not walk in obedience to our Lord in holy living, then heaven is not guaranteed us, for the Scriptures teach we will not inherit eternal life with God. So please take this seriously.

[Matt 7:21-23; Matt 24:9-14; Lu 9:23-26; Rom 1:18-32; Rom 2:6-8; Rom 6:1-23; Rom 8:1-14,24; Rom 12:1-2; Rom 13:11; 1 Co 6:9-10,19-20; 2 Co 5:10,15,21; 1 Co 1:18; 1 Co 15:1-2; 2 Tim 1:8-9; Heb 9:28; 1 Pet 1:5; Gal 5:16-21; Gal 6:7-8; Eph 2:8-10; Eph 4:17-32; Eph 5:3-6; Col 1:21-23; Col 3:5-17; 1 Pet 2:24; Tit 2:11-14; 1 Jn 1:5-9; 1 Jn 2:3-6,24-25; 1 Jn 3:4-10; Heb 3:6,14-15; Heb 10:23-31; Heb 12:1-2; Rev 21:8,27; Rev 22:14-15]

Oh, to Be Like Thee, Blessed Redeemer 

Lyrics by Thomas O. Chisholm, 1897

Music by W. J. Kirkpatrick, 1897

Oh, to be like Thee! blessèd Redeemer,

This is my constant longing and prayer;

Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,

Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.

Oh, to be like Thee! full of compassion,

Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,

Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,

Seeking the wandering sinner to find.

O to be like Thee! lowly in spirit,

Holy and harmless, patient and brave;

Meekly enduring cruel reproaches,

Willing to suffer others to save.

O to be like Thee! while I am pleading,

Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love;

Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling,

Fit me for life and Heaven above.

Oh, to be like Thee! Oh, to be like Thee,

Blessèd Redeemer, pure as Thou art;

Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;

Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrYhiK2nQBg 

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