The Two Shall Become One Flesh

Ephesians 5:21-24 ESV

“…submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

This word “submit” means “to place or rank under, to subject, to obey, under God’s arrangement, i.e. submitting to the Lord (His plan)” (biblehub.com). It also means to defer to, to give in to, to surrender to, to yield to. So, first and foremost we submit to the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord (Master/Owner/Ruler) of our lives, and all else flows from that. And the body of Christ is to submit to (to defer to, to yield to) one another out of reverence for Christ, but never in compromising truth, righteousness, nor moral purity, i.e. never in sinning.

So, a married woman is to submit to her husband in the same way in which she submits to the Lord, i.e. in like manner. So, she is not to submit to sin nor to disobeying the Lord, and she is to make no compromises with truth, righteousness, and moral purity. For she is to live a holy life surrendered to Jesus Christ to do his will. But we can make compromises in non-essentials, and we are to yield to our husbands when we have a difference of opinion unless that difference of opinion has to do with truth and righteousness.

Basically, there can’t be two heads in one household, and God has designed that the man should be the head, but then on him rests a much greater responsibility. But “head” does not mean rule with an iron fist or abuse your wife, for when we get into the section on husbands that will become abundantly clear. For it says here that husbands are the head of their wives even as Christ is the head of the church and is himself its Savior. And so the husband is to care for his wife in the same way the Lord Jesus does.

Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Now, at least in this passage of Scripture, there is much more attention being given to the role of the husband, but then that makes sense since he is to be the head of the household and the one leading the family. So I am not going “light” on instructions to the women and “heavy” on instructions to the men, but I am doing my best, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, to share to the best of my understanding what this passage of Scripture is teaching on the subject of husbands and wives and our responsibilities.

Now, I will say here that this passage of Scripture is specifically dealing with a Christian marriage, so this would be difficult to implement everything taught here if one or both are non-Christians. But where this often gets complicated is when one spouse (or both) claims to be a Christian but is not living the Christian life. Thus, there are many “Christian” marriages that are not operating like this at all because one spouse or the other or both are still walking according to the flesh and not according to the Spirit.

Now when it says here that husbands are to love their wives, that word love is agape (in the Greek), and it means to prefer what God prefers. And what God prefers is what is holy, righteous, godly, morally pure, upright, honest, and faithful, as well as he commands obedience to him and holy living and that we no longer walk in sin making sin our practice. So if a husband is loving his wife in this way, he is going to live in moral purity, and he will not deliberately lie to her and commit adultery against her in any form.

And if he loves her in this way, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, then he will treat his wife with honor and with respect, and he will listen to her heart, and he will care about her needs and her concerns, and he will not treat her with dishonor as though she is lesser than him while he treats other people with greater honor. And pride must go out the window, for he must be willing to lay down his life for his wife to show her love and kindness and to help her to grow in Christ.

So many men have been taught wrongly about how they are to treat their wives (and women in general), which is evident by how many men, even “Christian” men, are addicted to sexual immorality and the viewing of sexually explicit material. So many men are being trained that it emasculates them to lay down their lives for their wives and to treat their wives with honor as though being a man means to be a bully or to stomp on their wives hearts and to treat their wives with dishonor.

And then it continues that husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. So they should treat their wives as they want to be treated by others. They should give attention to their wives like they give attention to their own bodies, but not in sin, for some people sin with their own bodies. But this has to do with how husbands give attention to their own wants and needs, so they should give at least equal attention to their wives own wants and needs, provided that their wives’ wants are not sinful desires.

And then we have God’s design and purpose for husbands and wives which was stated first in the book of Genesis, and that is that when a man marries a woman he is to leave his father and mother and hold fast to (cleave to, join to, be glued to) his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So, he is not to remain “single” in mind, heart, and behavior, thinking he can still live however he wants, despite her. And the same for her. And the two can only become one flesh if they are remaining morally pure toward one another.

So, the wife is not to be a doormat for the man to wipe his feet on. But he is to treat his wife like God does. And he is to see her as his helpmeet, not as competition. And he is to do with her and for her what is for her best, for he is to invest himself in her welfare and not do her harm. And then she is to respect her husband, which means to show him deference, regard, interest, value, recognition, and appreciation, showing consideration for him and for his needs and for what he wants for both of them (in the will of God).

Hear my Voice 

An Original Work / July 9, 2012

Based off Psalm 27

The Lord is my great salvation.

He’s the stronghold of my life.

When my enemies attack me,

My heart will not fear at all.

Though a war break out against me,

Confident in Christ I’ll be.

Of the Lord, I ask that I may

Live with Him eternally. 

Hear my voice, Lord, when I call you.

Merciful to me You’ll be.

Though my relatives forsake me,

My Lord God will receive me.

Teach me Your way, O my Jesus.

Lead me in Your righteousness.

I will sacrifice to my Lord.

I will sing with joyfulness.

I am confident that I will

See the goodness of the Lord.

All the richness of His blessings,

My Lord has for me in store.

He asks me to be of courage;

To be strong and to take heart,

Patiently as I wait for Him,

And from Him to ne’er depart.

https://vimeo.com/119813963