Luke 22:31-34 ESV
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”
Quite a few years ago, about 37 years ago, we were in the process of moving from location to location and the Lord gave me a warning and an encouragement from his word. I don’t recall the exact passage of Scripture but the gist of it was that things would go well for me if I followed him with my life but they wouldn’t go well if I didn’t follow him with my life. And I did take that seriously, but I had no concept at all of what was awaiting me.
We had been living in a location where we had good friends and good Christian fellowship with other believers in Jesus Christ. And our children were friends with some of their children. Everything wasn’t perfect there, but it was good. We were in Bible studies with other Christians and I had been teaching two neighborhood ladies’ Bible studies, and we were ministering to a blind neighbor, and we were singing in the church choir, and I was singing solos in church, and directing an ensemble, and we were happy there.
Then we moved to another state and a small town where if you were not from there you were not welcome. The people from that town just were not welcoming of us. Added to that I was going through the change of life early and my hormones were going berserk. And I was extremely lonely. And my husband was traveling much with his work, too. So we did some volunteer work in the community and we joined the YMCA and I joined Newcomers Club and then we decided God was calling us to do church planting, too.
Now in the midst of all of this my husband and I had friended a man we met in our volunteer work. And we were working alongside him in such volunteer work and we formed a close friendship with him. It was nice because we didn’t really have friends there. But to make a long story short, I ended up in an affair with him, even though I had prayed much against such a thing, and I had called out to God much to help me, and I had asked my husband to help me, so I was honest with my husband about my struggle.
And as I read this passage of Scripture this morning where Jesus told Simon Peter that Satan demanded to have him, that he might sift him like wheat, the Lord reminded me of the warning he had given me prior to us moving to that unwelcoming city. But he also encouraged me that the reason I am now where I am is because Jesus prayed for me that my faith may not fail. But what I found interesting about this is that Jesus prayed that for Peter and yet his faith did fail, for he denied Jesus three times.
And the other thing I noted about this is how convinced Peter was of his loyalty and devotion to the Lord and that he would never deny the Lord, but that he would die for the Lord. Now I don’t recall ever making such a strong statement as that, but I believed my life was committed to the Lord for I had been serving him with my life at least 20 years or more. And he was the love of my life. So I just would never have imagined that I would do anything like that. It just didn’t cross my mind.
And then one other thing I noticed in what Jesus said to Peter, after he told him that he had prayed for him that his faith may not fail, is that he said, “And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” So Jesus wasn’t saying that Peter’s faith would not fail. In fact, he told him emphatically that he was going to deny Jesus three times. But even in that there was hope in what Jesus said, because Jesus let him know that there would be restoration, and that God was not finished with Peter. Amen!
And God wasn’t finished with me, either. Now I am not going to go into detail here of my whole testimony, but let’s just say that Satan wasn’t finished with me yet, either, and the Lord did allow Satan to “sift me like wheat.” For it was multiple years before I finally came to my full senses and closed that door on my life never to be opened again – but only by the grace of God and in his power, strength and wisdom, and not in my own flesh.
But what Satan meant for evil in my life God allowed for good, not that God wanted me to sin. He did not! But I learned much about addiction and that sin struggle and it humbled me. I learned much about myself, too, and what I was capable of and what was in my heart. For the Lord eventually revealed to me that I had unforgiveness in my heart toward him because he had not rescued me from those who had abused me throughout my life. He didn’t do anything wrong, but I still needed to let go of that hurt and trust him.
Another thing he taught me was that I had to accept his sovereignty over my life in good times and in bad and believe that he is in control over all things and that he had a reason for all of the painful experiences I went through in my life. For all of what I went through was all in preparation for getting me ready for the calling he had intended on my life even from before I was born into this world.
And another thing I learned in this one session with God is I had to learn to not fight off Satan like a child being abused by her dad knowing that I was going to get hit. I had to see that God already won this battle for me and I had to behave like I believed that. For I really believed there were people in my life who could do things against me and God could do nothing about it. So I had to realize that wasn’t true and that this battle has already been won and I just have to take up that armor and fight Satan on the offense.
Then, nineteen years ago, in 2004, the Lord called me to a ministry of writing down what he teaches me from my times in his word each day and to post those writings on the internet. That is my assignment from God, my body part in the universal body of Christ. And he has taken me through the Scriptures from start to finish over again, but mostly in the Psalms through Revelation. And he has been teaching me much and maturing me much in the process.
So, just like he told Peter that he was going to fail, yet he also told him that when he had turned that he was to strengthen the brothers, the Lord did a similar thing in my life. He brought me out of that time where I denied him by my actions, he strengthened me in my walk of faith and obedience, and now he is using me to strengthen my brothers and sisters in Christ in their walks of faith and to encourage those who are walking in sin to repent of their sins and to now follow Jesus with their lives.
Now, I will say here that I know that the Scriptures teach that if sin is our practice, and not righteousness, and not obedience to our Lord, that we will not inherit eternal life with God. So, I also believe that if I had remained there and had not “turned again,” that I would not have the hope of salvation from sin and eternal life with God. Yet I know God had his hand on my life and so he planned all along that he was going to bring me back and that he was going to use me now to strengthen those of true faith in Christ. All glory to God!
Oh, to Be Like Thee, Blessed Redeemer
Lyrics by Thomas O. Chisholm, 1897
Music by W. J. Kirkpatrick, 1897
Oh, to be like Thee! blessèd Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.
Oh, to be like Thee! full of compassion,
Loving, forgiving, tender and kind,
Helping the helpless, cheering the fainting,
Seeking the wandering sinner to find.
O to be like Thee! lowly in spirit,
Holy and harmless, patient and brave;
Meekly enduring cruel reproaches,
Willing to suffer others to save.
O to be like Thee! while I am pleading,
Pour out Thy Spirit, fill with Thy love;
Make me a temple meet for Thy dwelling,
Fit me for life and Heaven above.
Oh, to be like Thee! Oh, to be like Thee,
Blessèd Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrYhiK2nQBg
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