Tonight I had one of those real life lessons taught to me. I
will not share the details of what took place, but I will just suffice it to
say that I said something I wished I would not have said, and I felt badly
afterwards that I said it, and so I apologized for it and for my insensitivity.
It was not a horrible thing. It was just one of those
situations where I spoke before I thought about what I was saying. I opened my
mouth, and as the saying goes, “I inserted my foot.” I let what I was thinking
in my mind come out through my mouth, and then it was too late.
So, I prayed to the Lord about it, and I examined what was
in my heart, since it is out of the heart that our mouths speak. And, I
realized that I was letting something bother me that I shouldn’t have let
bother me, and what was bothering me then slightly altered how I treated
someone.
And, because I let it bother me, and I didn’t give it over
to the Lord, then later I verbalized part of it out loud, and in front of
others, and then I felt like I just blew it. I felt like I just blew my
testimony. But, once you say it, it’s out there, and you can’t take it back.
People are Listening
So, after I apologized, and after I prayed it through, or
while I was praying it through, I journaled (privately) what had just taken
place. But, before I even began journaling, the Lord was already speaking to me
through a song. And, when I looked at the lyrics to the song, this scripture was
right at the top, right under the title, before the lyrics began.
“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.” Acts 16:25 NIV ‘84
And, immediately this spoke to my heart. And, it reminded me
that people are listening to what we say, and what we say can impact them for
good or not for good. The words we say when we don’t have our guards up, and
when we can’t go back and delete a bad sentence (as in writing), can’t be
erased. People may or may not forgive us, but what is said is said, and we don’t
know how our words may impact another.
But, the other part of this is that what we say comes from
what is in our hearts, and so when something comes out that we didn’t want to
come out, then we need to look at what is in our hearts, and we need to allow
the Lord to change our hearts and our attitudes and our thinking.
So, in examining my heart I realized I was thinking more
about me and my discomfort than I was thinking about this other person and how
my discomfort might impact how I would treat him. It was selfish on my part.
And, so I spoke before I thought because my thoughts were centered on self and
what I was feeling rather than thinking about what I was saying or who I was
saying it in front of.
Probably most of you have been there at some time or another
in your life, so you know what I am talking about. We get focused on things
that are not essential in this life, little things which offend or annoy us,
and thus we get self-focused, and then we lose sensitivity to those around us
and how our words or actions might impact them for good or for bad.
But, words matter! They matter a lot!!
Not Perfect Yet
So, I am praying for greater sensitivity to the Spirit’s
voice in this area so that I am more self-aware of when my thoughts are going
to something that is negative, so that I can exchange that negative thought for
something more praiseworthy; so I can be more self-aware of when my thoughts
are going to something centered on me, instead of on others or on God, too.
For, you see, He’s still working on me. I have not arrived.
As Paul said, I have not already been made perfect. So, what do I do now? I
have repented, I have apologized for my insensitive remark, and now I must move
on, and I must not kick myself for it over and over again, which I have done
before. I just feel horrible when I do something like this.
So, like Paul said, I must now forget what is behind me, and
I must press on to what lies ahead. He said, “I press on to take hold of that
for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” (Phil. 3:12).
But, this doesn’t mean I totally forget, for there is
something to be learned from this, and I need to learn what God has to teach
me, and I need to cooperate with his work of pruning in my life by allowing him
to show me what is in my heart that needs to come out of my heart. And,
obviously there is still some selfishness there that needs pruned away.
And, to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus
took hold of me is to take hold of his holiness, his righteousness, his
selflessness, and his purity. So, I forget what is behind only in the sense
that I don’t keep revisiting it in my mind and kicking myself over it. I
forgive myself, in other words. But, I take what took place to the Lord in
prayer for him to reveal to me what still needs to be brought to the cross in
my heart.
For, God gives us these lessons, where we have to learn
things the hard way, so that we do learn, and so that we do have a change of
heart and mind, and so that we are being conformed more and more to his
likeness. For, he is pruning us to make us even more holy.
God’s Amazing Grace
But, another aspect of this, too, is accepting God’s
forgiveness for when we fail. And, that is wonderful that we have his grace,
and we have his forgiveness when we do fail, and that he restores us, and he
encourages and strengthens us, and that he grows us in him, and he matures us
through these times, if we are willing to allow him to change our hearts.
But, let me add just one word of caution here. This is not
talking about willful premeditated habitual sin. We can’t keep ignoring God’s
voice and keep telling him “No” and telling our flesh “Yes” and then expect
that his grace is just going to cover it all. The scriptures are real clear on
that subject. If we say we have fellowship with God, but we walk in darkness,
we lie and we do not live by the truth (See 1 Jn. 1:5-9; Rom. 8:1-17).
But, if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have
fellowship with him and with one another who are also in fellowship with him,
and his blood cleanses us from every sin (See 1 Jn. 1:5-9). For, it is God’s
will and his design for our lives that we not sin. But, if we do sin, he is our
advocate (1 Jn. 2:1-2).
So, if we are walking (in practice) according to the Spirit
of God, in the light of his truth and righteousness, but we fail sometimes, we
are forgiven. But, we should learn from the failure, and we should allow the
Lord to change our hearts, and we should cooperate with whatever he leads us to
do so that we don’t keep repeating the same sins or failures over and over
again. We should learn from our mistakes, and grow from them, in other words.
But, if you are one who is habitually sinning against God,
especially fully knowing what you are doing, that you are doing wrong, and yet you
keep doing it over and over again, then you have not truly repented of your
sin. And, scripture teaches that either you are living in spiritual adultery against
your Lord, or you don’t really know God, because you are walking (living) in
disobedience to him. So, I pray you will surrender your life to him today.
[See: Lu. 9:23-25; Rom. 8:1-17; Eph. 4:17-24; Gal. 5:16-21.]
Songs
in the Night
An Original Work / December 18, 2013
“About
midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other
prisoners were listening to them.” Acts 16:25 NIV ‘84
Lord, I praise You forevermore.
You, my Savior, I now adore.
Hope in heaven awaiting me,
Because You died at Calvary.
I have been forgiven,
And I’m bound for heaven.
Jesus set me free from
All my sin, I say.
I will praise Him always!
Lord, I love You for all You’ve done:
Overcame death, my vict’ry won!
Jesus saved me, and now I’m free!
I rejoice in His love for me.
I will walk in vict’ry!
My sin is but hist’ry!
I am free to please Him
With my life today.
I will love Him always!
Lord, I thank You for giving me
A new life bought at Calvary.
Loving Jesus, I meet with Him.
Tender mercies now flow within.
Lord, I am so thankful;
Through my Lord, I’m able
To sit at His table;
Fellowship with Him.
I will thank Him always!
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