We all experience trials in
this life, at least to some extent. Some people seem to have more than their
fair share of them, though, while others appear to be relatively trouble free.
But, appearances can be deceiving. We don’t really know what goes on in other
people’s lives unless we know them well, and we can see for ourselves what they
are going through, or unless they tell us. So, we should never be quick to
judge others.
A lot of us have been trained
to keep those things to ourselves, and to not share them, which may be wise, in
some cases, but then how can people pray for us? How will we be ministered to
and encouraged in our suffering by others? How will they know that they are not
alone in their suffering? How will they be encouraged in their own walks of
faith when they go through hard times if they think no one else has walked
where they are walking?
Yet, when we do share, we
should do so prayerfully and as led by the Spirit of God. It should not be to
gossip, to have a pity party, to put others down, to puff ourselves up, or just
to vent. Our goal should always have eternal values and God’s kingdom work in
mind, as well as love for God and others.
The Lord Jesus led me to read
Philippians 1 (Select vv. ESV).
I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in
every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your
partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this,
that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of
Jesus Christ. Vv. 3-6
When Paul penned these words,
he was in prison, but not for committing a crime, but for preaching the gospel
of our salvation and Jesus Christ, our Savior. And, he had been in there a long
while, too. But, instead of griping and complaining, blasting his persecutors, or
venting of his unfair treatment, he wrote this letter to encourage his fellow
believers in Christ in Philippi, who had encouraged him in his sufferings and
had supported him in his ministry.
But, what if Paul had kept
his suffering a secret, and he didn’t let anyone know? The church would have
missed this opportunity to share with him in his suffering and to encourage and
support him. And, he would have missed out on their encouragement and support,
too. Through this sharing of mutual love and support, they bonded, they united
in heart and mind, and they were all strengthened in their faith, and in their
purpose, and in their commitments (resolve) to obey the Lord and to keep on in
his service.
Making it Personal
I am thirteen days away from
turning 68 years old. I was born in the last six hours of 1949, at 6:10 p.m. When
I grew up, we were taught not to talk about our sufferings, although that didn’t
stop some people from gossiping or griping and complaining. But, we were to
keep certain things hidden.
Nonetheless, my aunt set up
an appointment for me and one of my sisters to talk to the pastor about our
father’s abuse of our mother, i.e. that he was beating her nearly to death. The
pastor’s response, though, was that he could do nothing unless our mother
pressed charges. Wow!
My aunt did not know about
the abuse of us kids. She didn’t know about the physical, sexual and mental
abuse that some of us went through, but I knew, because I was one of the ones
suffering. But, I would never have had the courage to go to the pastor if it
were not for my aunt.
So, here I was, and the
pastor was going to do nothing, so I told him about the sexual abuse. I told
him this began when we were toddlers or at least by kindergarten age. But, even
then he said, “But did he force you?” He was clueless!
My dad went into a mental
hospital for 1.5 years. My mom never talked with us about it. I doubt she
talked to anyone else about it, either. She even took us girls to visit our dad
in the mental hospital, and she did tell us we had to forgive him. No one else
talked with us about it, either. It was just shoved under a rug. And, it had
devastating effects on my life because I had no one to help me through it or to
encourage me.
[But, God took me through a
healing process in later years, and he took that pain from me, and he filled me
with his love and grace. Praise his name!]
And, then my dad was sent
back home, still with no one talking with us about it. And, that frightened me.
And, he did try to resume the sexual abuse, but this time I had the courage to
tell my mom, and it stopped, but the mental abuse only got worse.
To make a long story short, I
learned to not tell people about what was going on in my life. And, even if I
did get the courage to tell someone, most did not understand. They had no clue
how to help me. So, when I went through other difficult times in my life, I
learned to stuff that, too, and that is not healthy. Venting is not healthy,
either, though it may give us some relief, because it has as its goal just to
let off steam, but with no resolve to change anything, and it often does a lot
of damage to others.
So, we need to have a healthy
way and a biblical and godly way to share with other believers our sufferings
so that they can help strengthen and encourage us, but also so that we can
encourage them in their suffering with the encouragement we have received from
God (2 Co. 1:1-11). Yet, we need to do this under the guidance and direction of
the Holy Spirit, in love, in kindness, in gentleness, and with the ultimate
goal of ministering God’s grace and mercy into the lives of others, and not
just to please ourselves.
It is right for me to feel this way about you all,
because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace,
both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For
God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. Vv.
7-8
When we do share our
sufferings with others, this is when we learn who our true friends are, i.e.
those who will stand beside us, even if they don’t know what to do, and who
will pray for us, and not reject us because what we just shared with them was
uncomfortable for them to hear. Friends like that, though, seem few and far
between. Most people will just walk away.
So many people just want to
put on masks and pretend “I’m ok, you’re ok,” even if they are not ok. And,
that isn’t healthy, either. I remember that Chuck Swindoll wrote a book about
that many years ago titled, “Dropping your Guard.” If you have never read it, I
would highly recommend it. It was an excellent read. Evidently, he has an
updated version out now.
The point of this, though,
is, that if we are to have genuine fellowship with one another, in the Spirit,
and if we, the body of Christ, are to grow together in love, one for the other,
we have to “drop our guards,” and not wear masks, though we must exercise
wisdom and discernment with this, too. We can go from shoving it all inside us to
the opposite extreme where all we do is complain and want people to commiserate
with us, and that is not healthy, either. We have to find the right balance in
this.
And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and
more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is
excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the
fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise
of God. Vv. 9-11
Always, before we open our
mouths and blurt out our hurts, we should pray, asking the Lord for wisdom and
direction, and we should examine our own hearts to see if our purpose in
sharing is godly, with the goal in mind of our own spiritual maturity, or with
the goal in mind of leading others to spiritual maturity in Christ, that they
may walk in his holiness and righteousness. Our purpose in sharing should be to
increase one another’s love for God and our love for one another, otherwise it
can be destructive to the body of Christ.
I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened
to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known
throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is
for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my
imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Vv. 12-14
I love this! Our purpose in
sharing our sufferings with others, should, as well, be for the advancement of
the gospel of Christ. This should be the intended outcome. And, what is the
gospel? It is that Jesus died that we might die to sin and live to
righteousness. And, this should always be what we teach, that our Lord gave his
life up for us so that we might be free of our chains. So many people are in
chains, by their own choice, because of wrong choices, but also because they
keep their sins a secret.
So, if we want hope and
healing for ourselves or for others, we need to have the courage to tell
someone, or to share with the body of Christ what we are going through. But, we
also need to be prepared for rejection, because too many want to keep things on
a surface level, i.e. happy, happy, and they will not want to share in the
fellowship of our sufferings, as we share in the fellowship of the sufferings
of Christ.
But, that should not keep us
from giving testimony to God’s saving grace and mercy in our lives, because we
never know how God is going to use what we share in the lives of others, if not
now, maybe some time down the road when they are ready for it. So, be
courageous, be bold, be humble, be sensitive, be discerning and wise, and be
submissive to your Lord in doing what he wants you to do for your own healing,
and for the healing of others.
Songs in the Night
An Original Work / December
18, 2013
“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and
singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.” Acts
16:25 NIV ‘84
Lord, I praise You
forevermore.
You, my Savior, I now adore.
Hope in heaven awaiting me,
Because You died at Calvary.
I have been forgiven,
And I’m bound for heaven.
Jesus set me free from
All my sin, I say.
I will praise Him always!
Lord, I love You for all
You’ve done:
Overcame death, my vict’ry
won!
Jesus saved me, and now I’m
free!
I rejoice in His love for me.
I will walk in vict’ry!
My sin is but hist’ry!
I am free to please Him
With my life today.
I will love Him always!
Lord, I thank You for giving
me
A new life bought at Calvary.
Loving Jesus, I meet with
Him.
Tender mercies now flow
within.
Lord, I am so thankful;
Through my Lord, I’m able
To sit at His table;
Fellowship with Him.
I will thank Him always!
Monday, December 18, 2017,
5:55 a.m. – Thank you, Jesus, for these encouraging words you gave to my heart
today. I love you and I praise you!
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