Proverbs 31:10-31 (Select verses)
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more
precious than jewels.
An excellent wife (or woman) is one who is exceptional and
admirable. She is not ordinary or mundane. She is special. She is unique. And,
she is commendable (praiseworthy), although she should be one who gives all the
praise and glory to God, and not to herself, for she is only excellent because
of the excellence of the Lord Jesus living within her and out through her.
(Regarding her husband):
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of
her life.
She, too, is one who considers what is best for her husband.
And, she does for him what is for his good, not what will harm him. And, this “good”
will depend largely upon their situation and their age and their status in life.
For, it will be different for a wife married to a man, and
they have no children together, than it will be for a wife married to a man,
and they have children. And, it will be different if both spouses are working
full-time for pay, or if just one of them is working for pay, or if one or both
are retired. And, then it depends on the needs, too.
So, the “what” she will do for her husband may vary, but not
the fact that it must be for his good, and not for his harm. And, this is very
important that we understand this, for it is not good for our husbands if, for
example, we participate with them in something sinful, or if we watch movies
together which are bad for us, or if we do something we know might lead them
into sin or that might be a stumbling block to them in their walks of faith, if
they have faith in Jesus Christ, which some of them may not.
And, depending upon the situation, the good that we must do
to them must be something for their well-being, that will be beneficial for
them in godly and holy ways, not in fleshly ways. We must set the right example
before them of holy living and of godly lives, and of those who are following
our Lord in obedience. And, then we must love them with the love of God which
prefers what is holy, just, righteous, pure, honest and trustworthy, etc.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides
food for her household
She dresses
herself with strength
and makes her
arms strong.
Her lamp does
not go out at night.
Again, what this looks like in our day and time largely
depends on our individual situations and cultures, etc. But the point is that
she provides for the needs of her household (family) in whatever ways she has
means to do so, and in whatever way God has called her.
And, the provisions may not be primarily physical, though
certainly physical needs are part of it. But she may be one whose work it is to
provide spiritual nourishment to people, which she would also share with her
family members for their encouragement in their walks of faith, if they are
people of faith.
And, the way in which she may provide for them, too, is by
her example of faith, in how she will serve the Lord day or night, and how she
will get up while it is still dark to do whatever the Lord wants her to do, or
to meet the needs of her family members. This happens with moms of young
children, I know. Their work is never really done. They are on call 24/7.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands
hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out
her hands to the needy.
She is a hard worker, too. She is not slothful. She is not
lazy or idle. She doesn’t waste away her days on stuff that has no value to her
life or to the lives of her family members. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t laugh,
or that she doesn’t enjoy life, or that she is just staunch and stiff all the
time. She smiles a lot. She is filled with the joy of the Lord. And, she enjoys
her family and spending time with them. So, she knows how to relax, too.
She is also generous, and she shares her heart, and her
time, and her resources with those in need. And, it may not always be money or
physical supplies, but it may be free babysitting of grandchildren, or it may
be taking a walk with a neighbor, or spending time talking with a neighbor, or
it may be calling someone or texting them or sending a card or giving them a
word of encouragement or a song to sing. She cares about people.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs
at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the
teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She does not dress herself in seductive ways that draw
attention to her form. She dresses herself modestly and she carries herself
with maturity and dignity, and she lives a moral life above reproach, and she
doesn’t give herself over to doing what is wicked and/or that would harm
others.
She has no fear of the future. It doesn’t mean she is never
tempted to fear, but she gives her fears over to the Lord, as her practice, and
she rests in her Lord, and she trusts him and his sovereignty over her life.
She also opens her mouth with the wisdom she receives from
God. It doesn’t mean she is perfect always in her speech, but that words of
wisdom are what regularly and consistently are on her tongue, especially when
she is teaching the Word of God for the benefit of others, to encourage them in
their walks of faith. For, she depends on the Lord for what to say, and she
does not contrive it herself. She trusts the Holy Spirit to speak through her.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who
fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her
works praise her in the gates.
The older that I get (I am 70), the more I realize how very
much this is true. So, if someone is considered “charming,” that is most likely
not a good thing. That usually means that they are manipulative and deceitful,
and they don’t have your good at heart, but they intend you harm. They are just
using you for their advantage to get what they want, regardless of what it does
to you, or how much they hurt you in the process.
So, as women of God, we are not to lie to anyone, not even
tell a white lie, which is still a lie. We are not to manipulate anyone or use
anyone for our advantage. But we are to always look out for the good of others
and not to do them harm. For we are to be women of integrity.
So, how do we do all of this? How could any of us possibly
measure up to this virtuous woman? Only by walking in the fear of the Lord and
in his mighty power can we live like this. Only as we daily die to sin and
self, by the Spirit, and put on Christ and his armor, and as we walk in obedience
to our Lord, in doing his will, are we able to live such lives above reproach.
And, when we do that, when we surrender our lives to our
Lord, to walk in his ways, and to do what he says, and we are on call with our
Lord 24/7, for whatever he has for us to do, then his love, his grace, and his
mercy should come through us, and the fruit that we bear should be the fruit of
righteousness for the kingdom of heaven, and not the fruit of the flesh, which
is for the kingdom of this world.
And, we shouldn’t be looking for the praise of the world for
what we do. And, we shouldn’t fear the rejection and persecution of the world,
either, or the disapproval of the worldly adulterous church who may find us an
offense. But we should find our purpose and our worth in God, and in God alone.
And, our lives should be for his praise. But what we do must be done in his
strength and power, and not in our own, then all the glory goes to God.
By Thomas O
Chisholm
Be with me, Lord – I
cannot live without THEE,
I dare not try to
take one step alone.
I cannot bear the
loads of life, unaided,
I need THY strength
to lean myself upon.
Be with me Lord, and
then if dangers threaten,
If storms of trial
burst above my head,
If lashing seas leap
ev’rywhere about me,
They cannot harm, or
make my heart afraid.
Be with me Lord! No
other gift or blessing
THOU COULDST bestow
could with this one compare –
A constant sense of
THY abiding presence,
Where’er I am, to
feel that THOU ART near.
Be with me, Lord,
when loneliness o’ertakes me,
When I must weep
amid the fires of pain,
And when shall come
the hour of “my departure”
For “worlds
unknown,” O Lord, be with me then.
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