Proverbs 23:1-3, 6-9
ESV
When you sit down to
eat with a ruler,
observe carefully what is before you,
and put a knife to
your throat
if you are given to appetite.
Do not desire his
delicacies,
for they are deceptive food…
Do not eat the bread
of a man who is stingy;
do not desire his delicacies,
for he is like one who
is inwardly calculating.
“Eat and drink!” he says to you,
but his heart is not with you.
You will vomit up the
morsels that you have eaten,
and waste your pleasant words.
Do not speak in the
hearing of a fool,
for he will despise the good sense of your
words.
A Different
Perspective, Perhaps
You know, this doesn’t have to be about physical food, and
the person whom we are sitting across the table from does not have to be a
ruler, either. He or she could be anyone – a friend, neighbor, family member,
fellow Christian (or professing Christian), a pastor, coworker, or our boss at
work, etc.
And, it appears, from several commentaries I read on this
passage, that the correct translation for verse one is (or can be) to “observe
carefully who is before you,” i.e. it means to observe this person’s character,
his lifestyle, his attitudes, behaviors, and speech, etc. And, this seems to
fit with the following verses, too, regarding one who is stingy and
calculating, etc.
And, it doesn’t have to be a literal table we are sitting
at, either, for the word table also has to do with an agenda or something up
for discussion or something being proposed and talked about. So, this could be
about two people having a conversation with each other, and the “food” could be
what is being offered up for discussion, such as “food for thought.”
For, to eat is also to swallow, and to swallow is also to
accept, absorb, allow or ingest, i.e. to take in what is being said into one’s
heart and mind and emotions for consideration, or for understanding or
acceptance.
The Counsel Here
So, with that in mind, then the counsel here is to be wise
in what we accept into our minds and hearts, and with regard to the source from
which this “food for thought” is coming to us. If this person has a reputation
for trickery, manipulation, playing mind games, deceiving others, setting traps
for people to fall into, and lying continuously, then we need to not
automatically trust this person or what he or she is telling us.
We must exercise much wisdom with regard to the “delicacies”
they are offering to us for our consideration and/or for our approval and
acceptance. For, their “delicacies” may well be their charm, smooth talk and
diplomacies, being skilled with speech, or a choice or pleasing bit of
information offered to us. For, they may be skilled at deception and
manipulation, and so what they are offering may well be a carefully laid out
trap for us to fall into.
For, they may promise trustworthiness while they stab us in
the back when we are not looking. They may promise to be with us all the while
they are plotting evil against us behind our backs, and behind closed doors.
But, this is where it gets tricky, I believe. We are taught
in scripture to love even our enemies and to do good to them. We are taught to
forgive others as God forgives us. And, so, in demonstrating God’s love to
others, and in forgiving even our enemies and desiring to do good to them, we
want to give even those who have sinned against us greatly another chance. And,
so we want to trust that this time will be different, or to give them the
benefit of the doubt, and so we may let down our guard sometimes in an effort
to show that we want to believe them, and so that may be used against us.
But, I look here at Jesus’ example. He knew that Judas was
going to betray him, but he still loved him. He still ate with him. He still
gave him the opportunity to do what was right, I believe, but Judas turned on
Jesus, and he betrayed his confidence, and he sold him out for 30 pieces of
silver. But, this was God’s will that Jesus should suffer unjustly in this way,
because it was for our salvation that Jesus was put to death for doing no
wrong.
So, sometimes we are going to give people the benefit of the
doubt, not about what we know is wrong, but that maybe their hearts have
changed, and maybe they are now on the right path, and that their words can be
trusted, and so we are going to let down our guard, and maybe not be so careful
about every word we say, and that may come back against us. And, I am not
speaking about us saying bad things, but I am talking about trusting people
with our hearts even knowing they may stomp on them in return.
Finding the Right
Balance
So, I see that there is wisdom in guarding our hearts, but
we can end up putting up impenetrable emotional walls (barriers) that bar
people from seeing who we are out of fear of getting hurt again, and that is
not healthy.
So, there is a balance here that we must find between being
afraid to say anything or afraid to trust anyone and going overboard the other
direction by not exercising reasonable caution and discernment about what we
say and to whom. So, we need to pray for wisdom. I know I do, for I don’t
always get that balance thing right. Sometimes I am too trusting, and sometimes
I am too cautious, too, out of fear. So, I need wisdom to know what to say and
to whom, and regarding what not to say, too.
And, the putting a knife to our throats really, then, in
this scenario, has more to do with guarding the words on our tongues, which
also fits with the rest of these verses here. We need to be cautious about what
we say to this person because we can’t trust this person, and what we say may
be used against us if the person takes our words out of context and twists them
to his or her advantage against us.
Now, if the Lord says to speak, then we need to speak, and
we need to say whatever he gives us to say, even if some people might twist our
words or take them out of context and use them against us. We have to obey the
Lord no matter what, for the Lord doesn’t promise us that we won’t be
misunderstood or accused falsely or betrayed by those we trusted. But, we must
exercise wisdom and discretion when talking with those who are likely to betray
our trust and to use our words as justification to attack us.
But, whatever comes our way, and if we are betrayed, and if
our trust is violated, and if people take our words the wrong way and use them
against us or accuse us falsely or take our words out of context, we need to
put our trust in the Lord. We need to realize that God will use these
situations in our lives ultimately for our good to mature us in him and to make
us more like Jesus, so we just have to commit our ways to the Lord and yield to
his sovereignty over our lives, and we have to give our situations over to him
and believe him to work out all things for our good.
It
Is Well with My Soul
Lyrics by H. G. Spafford, 1873
Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876
When peace, like a river, attendeth my
way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to
say,
It is well; it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though
trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless
estate,
And hath shed his own blood for my
soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious
thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it
no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my
soul!
And, Lord, haste the day when my faith
shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord
shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well; it is well with my soul.
*copyright
status is public domain
Saturday, June 15, 2019
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