As Christ Loved the Church
Ephesians 5:25-27 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
The reason I am listing the
husband first, out of order from what it is in the passage of scripture, is
because Christ loved us first, so that we could then love him. And, the husband
is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So,
the husband, too, needs to love his wife first, as Christ loves us, which will
then make it easier for his wife to love him back.
Also, I am listing the
husband first because he is the head of the household, and he is the one who is
to lead his wife and children spiritually, but not just with words, but by his
lifestyle, i.e. by his example,
as the shepherd of that family, his pasture, his flock (See: 1 Pet. 5:1-4).
Jesus literally gave his life
up for us. He willingly suffered and died for our freedom, so that we could be
holy and blameless in God’s sight. And, this is how you, husbands, should love
your wives, even if you don’t believe in God or Jesus, but especially if you
claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ. For, a follower of Christ is one who obeys,
shows respect for, and emulates Jesus.
So, you should emulate Christ
in how he loves us, and love your wives in the same manner, self-sacrificially,
in purity, and in truth, treating her with great honor, value and respect, and leading
her by example in how to live a holy life committed to God and to his service.
So, this means that you need to be walking in purity, honesty, righteousness,
holiness, uprightness, integrity, honor, and love, in the power and working of
God’s righteousness.
But, if you are not, that is
no excuse. You don’t get an out. Just because you are floundering in your sin
doesn’t mean you are excused from your responsibility. You can’t lead by
example if you are not living it, so live it. Don’t keep on in your lust,
selfishness and greed, and then opt out of your responsibility before God to be
the man of God and the husband you ought to be. And, then don’t demand that
your wife do her part if you are not willing to do your part first. God made
you the head, so be who he made you to be, only model Christ and his love for
his church. Don’t be an ogre.
As Your Own Body
Ephesians 5:28-33 ESV
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Do you love yourself more
than you love God? More than you love your wife? Do you care more about your
needs than you do your wife’s? Do you care more about what you want than you do
about what God desires? Do you care more about what you lust after than you do
about your wife’s heart? Or, do you regularly trample on her heart? Don’t
answer these questions with words. Words mean nothing if they are not followed
up with action.
Answer these questions by
honestly evaluating your own life and how you live it day in and day out. What
does your lifestyle say about you? About how much you care for yourself and how
much you care about God and your wife? What you give your time to, your
passion, your desire, your money, your thoughts, and your habits says a lot
about you. It speaks volumes concerning who is number 1 in your life, and who
is in last place.
I am going to be quite frank
here. If you, as a man, are spending your time, money, thinking, and desire on
pornography, lusting after other people, in even mild flirtations with another,
or on masturbation, you are committing adultery against your wife every time
you engage in any of those activities. God sees it as no different from you
having sex outside of marriage. You are not only not loving your wife, but you
are treating her with hate (disdain). So, then don’t be surprised if she is not
jumping for joy over the idea of being intimate with you. There is no intimacy
where there is no faithfulness.
When we marry, we become one
flesh, but if you (husband or wife) commit adultery against one another, you
then become one flesh with whomever you have committed adultery. The intimacy,
fellowship and trust have now been broken with your spouse, and the only way to
restore that back to what it should be is for you to flee temptation to sin,
resist Satan, throw off whatever is leading you into sin, and walk in obedience
to your Lord, in humble submission to his will for your life. And, then love (honor,
cherish and value) your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her.
You want your wife to respect
you? Then live rightly. Don’t cheat on her, lie to her, devalue her, treat her
like a sex object, and commit adultery against her. Don’t betray her trust.
Earn her trust. Prove yourself faithful. Love her as you do your own self.
Consider her needs above your own. Don’t be selfish and think only of yourself.
Don’t make yourself or your own body your idol (your god) which you worship,
either. Don’t be one flesh with yourself, having an affair with yourself, but
be one flesh with her, instead.
Submission to Husbands
Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
So, the husband is to love
his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, and the wife
is to submit to her husband as to the Lord, and as the church submits to
Christ.
So, what this is saying is
that there is a parallel between the relationship Christ has with his church,
and his church has with him, and that of the relationship between a husband and
a wife.
If the husband, thus, is
loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that
she might be holy and blameless, then us wives should have no problem at all
with being in submission to our husbands. For, our husbands should not be
requiring anything of us that Christ does not demand of his own.
But, it gets sticky, I
believe, when a professing Christian husband, in particular, is not living a
Christian life, but is living an immoral life and is living in adultery against
his wife, and his desires are not God’s desires, but are those of lust, selfish
desire and wickedness. If we are to submit as we do to the Lord, and as the
church does to the Lord, then we should not submit to anything that is contrary
to scripture and is against the Lord. So, when it says to submit in “everything,”
it does not include what is evil.
This is what I believe here.
Jesus Christ sets the example for us in what this means. He did not give way to
the Pharisees who were trying to get him to bow to them. He always followed the
law of love. He didn’t dance their dance. They were wrong, and he called them
on it. Although they were in positions of power and authority, he never
compromised truth or righteousness in order to submit to them, nor did he
participate in any evil.
Also, Jesus is never
unfaithful to us. He does not lie to us, betray us, cheat on us, be cruel and
hateful to us and then expect us to cozy up to him. He is not selfish, but he
considered his life as nothing in comparison to what his sacrifice would mean for
our salvation. And, I am certainly not saying here that we all have to be
perfect. But, what I am saying is that we need to treat one another as Christ
treats us, and not willfully, knowingly and with no conscience treat one
another with hate and then expect intimacy in return.
So, how did/does Jesus love
us? He gave up his own life, his own reputation, and was willing to suffer, to
be mistreated, to be hated and persecuted, and even be put to death so that we
could go free from our addiction to sin. And, that is how I believe wives
should also love their husbands.
Thus, if your husband is
caught in adultery, and if he is not willing to repent, then you need to be
willing to be hated and misjudged and persecuted by him in order to help your
husband be free of his addiction, i.e. in order for you to stand for truth and
righteousness and against what is evil.
In other words, we should not
participate with our spouses in anything that feeds that addiction, or that
gives them permission to continue in it, even if they make fun of us, mock us,
get angry with us or whatever. We need to speak the truth in love, and live the
truth in love, too. We need to love our husbands as Christ loved the church,
too. And, we need to set boundaries just like Jesus does for his church, but in
our marriages, and not accept anything less.
Basically, we all need to be
living what we profess and we need to be treating one another with the kind of
love Christ has for us, his bride. But, especially, if you are the man, you
have the stronger responsibility before God, as the leader of the home, to set
the right example in loving your wife as Christ loves us.
Seven Woes
An Original Work / May 31, 2012
Based off Matthew 23
Woe to you, teachers of the law;
Hypocrites, you keep men from God.
You refuse to obey the truth,
Nor will you permit others to.
You travel o’er land and sea
To win a single convert to you.
When he becomes one
You make him twice as much
A “son of hell” as you are.
Woe to you, blind guides of mankind.
You distort the words of your God.
By your practices you declare
Your oaths mean nothing, though you
swear.
You give a tenth of your spices,
But you neglect justice, mercy.
When you focus your
Time and talents on
What is external, you miss out.
Woe to you, who appear so clean,
When inside you are crass and mean.
You work hard to look so upright,
While you hide all your sins inside.
You deceive yourselves when you think
You would not have done what others
Did to God’s messengers
And prophets of old,
For you will do much the same.
You’re to blame.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018 – Thank
You, Jesus, for Your love.
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